Responsibly Running

I was born on a Saturday in '86, the afternoon before Mother's day. She said I was her gift that Sunday, and this weekend will be the first I will not be able to give that gift to her; followed by my birthday that lands the day after this year. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the constant reminder of my Mother's absence, and have already made plans to be at the beach all weekend.

A close friend of mine looked directly into my eyes the other night and asked sincerely if it is out of an attempt to "run away". I don't remember my exact response to her, but it was an honest mixture of "yes" and "no". In a separate discussion, another friend asked if all of the moving around, and impulsive uprooting; this go with the flow wherever the wind blows mentality was really as irresponsible as many people make it out to be. Or, what the possible difference was between running and responsibly leaving, if that exists.

I can't answer for the personal details of her decisions, but I can say that, yes, I am running from any comforts of walls that resemble home this weekend, and, no, I do not believe I can run to anywhere that my sorrows couldn't follow. In essence, on Mother's Day I have nowhere that I actually need to be. There will be no celebration lunch, balloons or cards, cake served on the "You are special today!" plate that we have in our family. Instead, I am running to the one place that I want and need to be: the beach. Sitting on my board in the ocean, the smell of the salty breeze, camping in the sand, the one place where I am able to be alone and responsibly cope.

I call the Re-Beats Project a "movement" because, like all things, you have to move to make things happen in life, and they will never happen sitting stagnant. However, I can't determine for anyone, except myself, how far you have to move, if you are fearfully running away, or boldly running towards the place you ultimately need to be. I hope you find a little more clarity in which is most necessary for your own life though.